I try not to judge. You might explore the eastern philosophies' take on compassion. What would my current friends think of me if they knew I left people behind? It's OK if you don't have a lot to say in casual conversation or if it's a topic you're not interested in. Another plain and simple fact. Am I a good person?
Usually I'm completely indifferent towards people I meet and have no expectations or feel threatened they are friends of friends.
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But throwing a party is a whole different story. I don't know if the same level of criteria and judgment I'm applying they do too. I feel guilty I've chosen the people I know. And whereas BrE speakers know our arse from our ass as well as our elbow, AmE speakers could easily get them confused. I feel like I've picked and chose who I know to benefit us as friends. I feel bad for this level of want from peoples personalities I'm not perfect myself. It's OK to let go of control of the conversation, and let it go where it goes.
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